Aug. 5th, 2010

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Last night's dream was fueled by the 60 or so pages of Stranger in a Strange Land, which I made the mistake of reading before bedtime. It was populated by a whole cast of characters that included [livejournal.com profile] doomsey, random people I know from LJ, and some neighbors and their two children. We were pretty much racing across the United States trying to save this poor (and very strange) sod, who our government was trying to kill. Let's just say that this wasn't a very organized rescue attempt and most of our efforts were focused on a) staying anonymous and b) once our identities were learned, not getting caught. Let's say that this rescue attempt more closely resembled something out of It's a Mad, Mad World, only we were all working together, although you would hardly know it seeing all the antics that went on.

Here are a few helpful tips should you ever find yourself in this situation:

1) When impersonating someone's twenty-year old daughter (this particular individual was friends with the father but had never met the daughter before), it's not a good idea to pour yourself a glass a wine, especially when the person you're dealing with is a cop. Yeah, that took some really fancy footwork to get out of that one. By the way, the correct response is, "my daddy always lets me have a glass of wine with dinner. Sorry, force of habit."

2) When impersonating a twenty-year old who doesn't like the great outdoors, don't tell them that you got a particularly nasty cut on your leg while gardening. Oh...and the way out of that one was, "my mom made me do it. It was..like...totally lame."

3) Never ever ever entrust the care of a person from another planet to my neighbors living two doors down. That'll never end well. Oh...and if you do entrust this person to their care, whatever you do, don't let them get more than a few miles ahead of you, let alone the next frigging state. Geez.

4) When choosing someone to protect / take care of a person from another planet who is not all too familiar with Earth customs, stick with the science fiction geeks because they're better equipped to handle it. Also, you know a lot of science fiction geeks, and hey! you're sort of one yourself.

5) Don't ever let [livejournal.com profile] doomsey give away your location in a text message. Better yet, throw all the goddamn cell phones out the car window. They make it easier to trace you.

I guess we didn't do too bad of a job because we all ended up together in some remote cabin up in New England. Said cabin was donated by someone sympathetic to the cause, although we were looking into relocating because there was some concern that the government had located where we were.

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September 2010

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