I know that we are young and I know you may love me, but I just can't be with you like this anymore

[nekosensei]

My dearest cilantro plant,

I fed you. I watered you. I put you in the warm sunlight. I spoke to you lovingly while caressing your tender green leaves. What have I done wrong? Why do you despise me so?

I guess this is the end of our beautiful relationship. I shall miss you terribly. Too-da-loo! *waves handkerchief*

Regretfully,
nekosensei

P.S. ¡¿Por qué?!

---

I don't know. You think maybe I came on too strong?

---

Dang! I just suck at growing cilantro in the house, don't I? This is the second plant I've managed to kill. I think my mistake this time was clipping off all the flowers. I thought that, if you let it flower, it would turn into coriander and that would change the flavor of it.

So sad. I love the smell of cilantro....

Also, I'm half tempted to start an LJ community for gardening fails...the fail blog of gardening if you will. Maybe we'll all learn from each other's mistakes. I think "oops_i_killed_it" is a good name.

Comments

[becomingkate.livejournal.com]

First of all, A+ for the title of the post XD
Second of all, I am one of those people who thinks cilantro tastes and smells like soap, so I really have no sympathy for it or for your loss. Sorry.
:P
And I think that's an awesome blog idea. I think you'd get a lot of members. I can't grow things for crap. My preschooler son remembers to water the tomato plant more often than I do.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_boxinghelena/]

I would join the community. I am really bad at gardening.

[marthamonoxide.livejournal.com]

That would be a fabulous community! I'm not too good with plants myself and have to always get ones that don't require too much attention and actually prefer to be neglected which is the only reason the plants on my balcony are alive and well.

[nick-101.livejournal.com]

oops_i_killed_it sounds like a cool name.

Sorry that your plant died. Keep trying to plant stuff. You'll find a way to succeed.

[cynical-ghost.livejournal.com]

That plant has a very languishing, dramatic look to it.

I love gardening, I just wish I had more energy for it. And I wish I could have houseplants... my cats would devour any greenery I bring into my house.

. I thought that, if you let it flower, it would turn into coriander and that would change the flavo

[purpurachicago.livejournal.com]

How the heck can you think this... LOL

[becomingkate.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah and coriander is the seeds of the cilantro plant, IIRC

[barsukthom.livejournal.com]

That is definitely a Pre-Raphaelite heroine sort of plant. Al it needs is a clingy dress and long, luscious red hair...

[barsukthom.livejournal.com]

I can't stand cilantro as well! (I dunno about it tasting like soap*; I just think it tastes like nasty.)

*I brushed my teeth with soap once...

[cynical-ghost.livejournal.com]

I brushed my teeth with soap once...

I got some soap once and it said one could brush one's teeth with it. Despite being warned that this was a Very Bad Idea (TM), I tried it.

NEVER AGAIN.

[cynical-ghost.livejournal.com]

See, you're a bit higher-minded than I am. Here I was, thinking it was more of a "writing bad poetry by candlelight whilst wearing all black" kind of dramatic.

But yours works too. "The Cilantro of Shallot..."

[ladyfox7oaks.livejournal.com]

Dr. Bronner's Pure Castile Peppermint soap, Right? Yeah... saw that bit on the label and thought "Oh H*ll NO."

[cynical-ghost.livejournal.com]

OMG YES. My tattoo artist uses it in his shop and said he tried brushing his teeth with it, to horrible and hilarious results. So I bought some b/c I love the brand and thought, "hey, how bad could it be?? It's minty! It'll be just be minty!"

IT WAS BAD.

[nekosensei.livejournal.com]

Soaps are bases (versus acids) aren't they? I imagine they'd taste very bitter.

[barsukthom.livejournal.com]

Your properly made soap should be pH neutral.

[barsukthom.livejournal.com]

I used Ivory, I think. Bleh, but not BLEAAUUUUGHHH(hackspitcoughgag)

[barsukthom.livejournal.com]

"My dessication is far drier tha anyone else's dessication, for only I have the rootstock sunk into pure, waterless pain..."

Great. Goth Plantporn.

[barsukthom.livejournal.com]

Plants do weird shit. Like, dandelion leaves are edible so long as they haven't flowered. (After that they get bitter and tough)

[bibliofilen.livejournal.com]

My plants always used to thrive but since I moved to this apartment it's a constant struggle just to keep them somewhat satisfied. And I bought to ivy plants just to kill them.

[(Anonymous)]

While there are some annuals which can be persuaded to grow much longer, even in hot weather by pinching off the flowers (basil is one), I think with cilantro, you just have to keep replanting it. It's such a problem that some of the varieties are specifically described as "slow-bolting". I'm guessing that planting seeds every couple weeks could ensure a ready supply.

The Preposed Community Name

[white-rabbit-1.livejournal.com]

I would so join that if you made one cuz I am right there in the middle of it myself! :)

Black thumb-I haz it!

Re: The Preposed Community Name

[nekosensei.livejournal.com]

I already set one up. It's called oopsikilledit.